Monday, July 17, 2006

It's On Like a Chicken Bone!

The problem with having too much time on your hands is that you eventually have so much time that you start entertaining those way-too-crazy ideas. After reconsidering the costs of installing a fireman pole from the third story down to the garage I had to consider a project that would actually fit within my budget constraints. So an idea that I had last year (likely the child of a rumor I had heard) came to mind mostly due to the fact that I recently found part-time employment at the local brewery. So starting today, I'm following through on one of my craziest, self-endangering ideas to date. I'm starting The Liquid Diet. No, not the one where you drink health shakes as that topic has no place on a beer-related blog. Do you see where this is going yet?

Yes, it's The Liquid Diet. The one that you've dreamed of since you...well, never. The diet that starts and ends with beer and goes until one of the following criteria are met:
  1. A verifiable gain/loss of weight is recorded.
  2. I crave solid food so much that I'd actually win in a fight with a fat lady at the buffet.
  3. I cough up my liver.
  4. My sphincter blows out thanks to the lack of its usual semi-solid shock absorbers. There is a reason they're tapered at both ends.
Hopefully, condition #1 will be met first and I won't have to resort to numbers 3 & 4.

But I want to be somewhat intelligent and balanced about doing an all beer diet, if there is such a statement. For example, my first meal today is starting with a fruit beer. Fruit is a generally accepted breakfast food, right? So I'm starting with a Raspberry Tart from the New Glarus Brewing Co. that I visited last summer. And the other smart step I've decided is requiring an equal amount of water to be consumed after each beer. This should help to curb the diuretic effect of alcohol along with hopefully minimizing the negative effects on my liver, not that I'm a doctor or anything.

Not a lot to write about just yet as this only started about 15 minutes ago. So I wrap up this entry with a list of questions that our loyal readers and contributors may be able to help with:
  • Anybody know where I can find info on where this may have been done before?
  • Anybody know of a good site where one can find comprehensive nutritional info for beers?
  • Know of any relevant scientific studies regarding the nutritous benefits/detriments of beer?
  • Do you want to contribute a meal plan for one of my dieting days? Keep in mind that the beers have to be locally available and my ZIP code is 30060. The selection ain't great, but it's better than it was a few years ago before Georgia lawmakers repealed the 6.0% content law.
Cross-posted over at The Liquid Diet.


  • At 10:18 AM, Blogger Brian said…

    Go back through the archives for his day-to-day accounts. Some of which are not at all pleasant.

    He stuck to Guinness exclusively, and I think he supplemented one glass of milk a day, and all the water he wanted (IIRC).

    He did lose weight, though, and rather quickly.

    I must confess to feeling conflict between my urge to talk you out of this and my urge to egg you on.

    At least take a decent multivitamin with iron and Vitamin C in it so you don't get anemia or scurvy. You don't want any of the weight to lose to be your teeth.

  • At 10:19 AM, Blogger Brian said…

    BTW, you should do the firepole anyway. Take out a loan.

  • At 10:40 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I am both nervous for your health and envious of the happiness that surely awaits you in an all-beer diet.

    I've thought about this before. Some ideas:
    Guinness contains iron. How much? I don't know. But a pint or two a day is probably good. (I also don't know if iron is to be found in other stouts or just this brand; I would think an oatmeal stout now and then would surely provide some nourishment as well.)

    Unfiltered beers, particularly weizens, are high in B-complex vitamins.

    I would think some full-bodied but low-alcohol beers would work well too - Mann's from England, if you can get it, or other English milds, and something like kinderbier from germany, if you can find it. Might give a break on your liver. I'd imagine most American light beers have little nutritional content.

    Also, you could drink some wheat beers with a slice of lemon (or corona & lime) for some vit C.

    I believe dark beers have a higher protein content; they also have some amount of antioxidants.

    If you want to allow yourself another beverage (besides water), coffee is said to increase the ability of the liver to deal with alcohol.

    Man, if I didn't like eating so much, I'd want to join you in this experiment.

  • At 10:08 PM, Blogger Matt said…

    I can't say that this is healthy, but it sure is interesting to read. Plus, I think we all want to see some sphincter blowing. Hope you get videos, because I smell a second life on YouTube!

  • At 1:25 PM, Blogger Chris said…

    There was an article in Celebrator (I think) a while ago about a dude in the UK who drank nothing but beer for 30 days. He also consumed food though, so I'm not sure his experience will translate to what you're about to undertake.

    Yeast is composed of roughy 50% protien, 30% B-vitamins, and 20% cellulose and other indigestibles. Drinking as many bottle-conditioned / unfiltered beers as possible will at least help maintain a little balance in your diet.

    Frankly, I think this is a really, really bad idea from a health standpoint, but I'm curious to see what happens to you.

    Be sure to keep us posted on any effects of your diet...

  • At 1:43 PM, Blogger Ben, aka BadBen said…

    You're definitely crazy.

    I just started my "beer diet" again, (but I eat normal food throughout the diet). I just limit my beer intake by this rule:
    I can only have one beer per every 5 miles that I've run. I lost 12 lbs within 2 months on this diet, 5 years ago. I run about 45 to 60 miles per week, with the majority of running on the weekends, so it works out fairly well to my lifestyle. It also makes me choose my homebrew or store-purchased beer wisely.

    Good luck, and don't blow the ol' sphincter out.
    -Bad Ben


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